SOP: The "Formula" to building relationships that get you promoted

 

Did you cringe when you saw “relationship building”?   This term is overused and often misunderstood, but it is absolutely crucial for your career growth. You may be thinking, "Networking? Isn't that just schmoozing and small talk?" Trust me, I've been there. But then I had a wake-up call.   Picture this: I'm fresh into my role at Microsoft and invited to spend a few days in Redmond. I was going to stay for the three days of the event when my manager said: "Take a week for the 3-day offsite in Redmond. You have to network." My first thought? "A whole week? For networking? You've got to be kidding me."   I was new to the team and Microsoft. The idea of spending extra days just . . . talking to people felt like nonsense, but I ended up doing it anyway. A few months later, that advice turned out to be golden. Those relationships I reluctantly built? They became the secret sauce for a major win for our team and my career.   The Truth About Networking I used to avoid networking, mostly because I had the wrong idea about what it was and no idea how to actually do it. If you still believe networking means schmoozing, playing politics, or worse, sucking up to the higher-ups, no wonder you're avoiding it.   But here's the thing - real, effective networking isn't any of that. It's about building genuine relationships and adding value.   "Oh great," you might be thinking, "another vague piece of advice. Just add value. Thanks a lot, Maya."   I get it. When I first heard this advice, I was just as confused. Do I send my stakeholders book recommendations? Do I offer to do work for them? Is it a daily thing or once in a blue moon? Should I be calling, emailing, or giving presentations?   The problem is that no one really explains what "adding value" actually means or how to do it effectively. So, let's demystify this process and get into the nitty-gritty of building those career-boosting relationships.

The Formula: Identify, Add Value, Repeat Here's the process broken down: Identify the right people: This isn't about targeting the highest-ranking executive you can find. It's about understanding who the key players are in your career trajectory. Who makes decisions about promotions? Who influences projects you want to be part of? Add value in advance: This is where most people get stuck. But don't worry—we'll break this down further in a moment. Rinse and repeat: Building relationships isn't a one-and-done deal. It's an ongoing process of consistently adding value and nurturing connections.   Let's zoom in on that tricky "add value" part.   What Does "Adding Value" Really Mean? Adding value is about understanding what matters to your stakeholders and finding ways to contribute to their success. It's not about grand gestures or solving all their problems. Often, the small, thoughtful actions make the biggest impact.   For instance, let's say one of your stakeholders is understaffed and has been trying to hire for a critical role for 6 months. They're stressed and overworked, and this hiring gap is impacting their team's performance.   Here's where you can add value: If you know a potential candidate who might be a good fit, recommending them is a great way to add value. Don’t know anyone who would be a good fit? Share the name of an agency or freelancer you’ve worked with to help them close the gap while waiting for the perfect hire.   You're not solving the entire staffing issue but providing a potential solution that could significantly help your stakeholders.   In my last VP role, I wanted to build a strong relationship with our new VP of sales. On one of our calls, I asked about his biggest problem. His answer? My team needs a new pitch deck. Creating a new pitch deck was my team’s responsibility, but it wasn’t our top priority. Nevertheless, after this call, I asked my team to rework our plan, and they delivered a new pitch deck a week later. My team got credit for the fast turnaround, and I won valuable points with my counterpart.   This kind of value-add accomplishes several things: It shows you're attuned to the challenges they're facing It demonstrates your willingness to help beyond your immediate responsibilities It leverages your skills and knowledge for their benefit, showcasing your connections and influence   Remember, adding value doesn't always mean doing extra work or taking on new projects. Sometimes, it's about making connections, sharing insights, or offering a fresh perspective.   The Stakeholder Hierarchy of Needs: Your Secret Weapon Let’s make the idea of adding value more actionable. I used to wrack my brain trying to come up with creative ways to add value before it became a habit. That’s when I created the Stakeholder Hierarchy of Needs.   Think Maslow's Hierarchy but for your career. It's a framework I've developed to help you navigate the murky waters of adding value to your stakeholders. Here's how it works:   It’s a set of questions that guide you through different levels of value-adding. Remove Obstacles: Is there any reason this stakeholder shouldn't support you? Solve Immediate Problems: What's keeping them up at night? Support Professional Goals: What are they aiming for in their career? Align with Personal Goals: What matters to them outside of work? Connect with Values: What principles guide their decisions?   Each level builds more trust and helps you build a stronger relationship. You're not guessing anymore; you're being strategic.   But here's the million-dollar question: How do you know what your stakeholders need?   How to Uncover What Your Stakeholders Need At first, I struggled to find ways to add value. Some of my stakeholders were a few degrees of separation away, and I didn’t know enough to help them.   But over time, I learned a few tricks that gave me the needed information. If you’re not sure what your stakeholders need, try this: Listen actively in meetings. Often, stakeholders mention challenges or goals in passing. If you are not invited to those meetings, watch a recording, read the transcript, or simply chat with someone who attended. Talk to your stakeholder’s team members: If you can’t gain access to the source, connect with the people who spend time with them. They can provide insights into what's important to your stakeholder. Do some online stalking: Your stakeholder may or may not have a social presence. If they do, you can look at past interviews, articles they wrote, or events they’ve attended to learn more about what matters to them. When in doubt, ask: There's nothing wrong with a simple "What's the biggest challenge you're facing right now?" Seriously. One of the best things you can do for your career is a listening tour - finding out what your stakeholders need so you can take that into account when building your own strategy.   Adding value the right way requires some effort, but boy does it pay off in the long run.   The $50,000 Networking Advice You may be telling yourself, “She’s got a point.” Maybe I should be more strategic in my relationship building, but… Before you make any excuses, I want to show you the real-world impact of building relationships.   This past month, two of my clients were promoted, using networking in the process.   The first was promoted to a Director role despite a promotion freeze. And when I asked how he became the exception to the rule, he said:   "Building my internal advocacy board with leaders. Their words of support really drove visibility and amplified the case for my promotion."   Another client leveled up by moving into a new role with a $50k raise through a previous manager she stayed in touch with. The relationship she built while they worked together, was so strong that the company ended up creating the role specifically for her and is covering relocation costs.   That's the power of strategic relationship-building.

Your next steps   If building relationships is not a priority right now, you need to make it one. You can’t really half-ass good relationship building; you need to be intentional if you want to reap the rewards. So, here are your next steps: Identify Your Key Stakeholders: Who influences your career trajectory? Apply the Hierarchy: Start with level 1 for each stakeholder and work your way up. Take Action: Find one way to add value this week based on your learning.

My Favorite 10 Soft Skill Books that Can Help You Become a Better Developer

Productivity & Personal Development

1. Deep Work by Cal Newport

2. Atomic Habits by James Clear

3. The Effective Executive by Peter Drucker

Communication Skills

1. Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson et al.

2. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Leadership & Team Dynamics

1. Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin

2. The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

3. Start with Why by Simon Sinek

Design & Craftsmanship

1. The Clean Coder by Robert Martin

2. The Design of Everyday Things by Dan Norman

4 Signs You Are Not Getting Promoted

 Red Flag #1: You're Always the "Go-To" Person, But Never the Leader

You're reliable. You get things done. But somehow, you're always the support, never the star.

 

Being the go-to person feels good, right? It means you're valued and trusted. But if you're always executing other people's plans rather than creating your own, you're positioning yourself as an excellent worker bee, not an aspiring executive.

 

How to Fix It:

• Start delegating tasks, even if you could do them faster yourself. Leadership is about empowering others, not doing everything yourself.
• Propose new initiatives. Don't wait for assignments - create opportunities that align with company goals.
• Mentor junior team members. Show you can develop talent, not just utilize it.

 

Red Flag #2: Your Role Hasn't Evolved in the Past Year

If you're doing the same tasks with the same responsibilities as last year, that's a sign of stagnation. Growth isn't just about doing more of the same - it's about expanding your impact.

 

How to Fix It:

• Request stretch assignments that push you out of your comfort zone.
• Identify gaps in your team or department and propose solutions to fill them (note: this doesn’t mean you’ll fix them; you’ll lead the project).
• Take on cross-functional projects to broaden your understanding of the business. Be strategic about this one. Choose projects with high visibility (impact on the company) or ones that will provide exposure to key stakeholders.

 

Red Flag #3: You're Not in the Loop About Big Changes

If your manager leaves or there's a reorganization, and you hear about it simultaneously as everyone else, it's safe to assume you were not seen as the next in line for the role. When your manager sees you as second in command, they’ll loop you in early and prep you for the opportunity.

 

How to Fix It:

• Manage up strategically to make your manager see you as their second in command. Show interest in the bigger picture, take work off their plate, and make them look good.
• Build relationships beyond your immediate team. Network with leaders in other departments to be “in the know.”
• Position yourself as executive-ready. Advocate for yourself with confidence, and ask for opportunities to be included. Show up to the table; don’t wait to be invited.

 

Red Flag #4: You Always Hear "You're Doing Great!"

It sounds positive, right? But if this is all you're hearing, it's actually a red flag. Vague, overly positive feedback without specific areas for growth can be a sign that your manager doesn't see you progressing to the next level.

 

When feedback is always "keep doing what you're doing," it often means they're satisfied with your current performance but aren't actively thinking about your future growth. This can lead to stagnation and missed promotion opportunities.

 

How to Fix It:

• Ask for specific, constructive feedback. Don't settle for general praise. Try: "I appreciate the positive feedback. What specific skills do you think I need to develop to prepare for the next level?"

• Set up regular career development discussions with your manager. Come prepared with your goals and ask for their input on achieving them.

• Seek out feedback from other leaders and peers. A 360-degree view can provide insights your manager might have missed.

• Propose your own growth plan. Identify skills or experiences you think you need and suggest ways to acquire them.

My Tech Promotion Algorithm by Steve Huynh

Today, I'll introduce my “Tech Promotion Algorithm”—a strategy I created based on what I learned from that experience.

This approach has helped hundreds of tech professionals in my paid program accelerate their career advancement. It consists of three steps. Simply repeat the steps until you get promoted.

1) Identify Your Biggest Gaps

Find your company’s internal guidelines for roles and levels. These documents outline the specific criteria for promotion to the next level in plain terms. If your company doesn’t have such guidelines, use the job description for the next level at your company, if available. If that doesn’t exist, find a similar-sized company’s job description for the equivalent role. Use these resources to create your own set of promotion criteria.

For each criterion, create a row in a spreadsheet. Do a self-evaluation for all of the criteria in the first column. Color the cell red, yellow, or green based on whether you meet the criterion. If you have feedback from a prior promotion rejection, you can add it to the sheet and create a column for it (shown below).

During your next 1-1, ask your manager to help support you in your quest for promotion and ask them to give you feedback on your performance against this criteria in one of the columns. Ask others for feedback if you feel comfortable soliciting them for feedback, including your skip-level manager and other coworkers.

At the end of this process, you should have a spreadsheet that looks something like this:

Color-coded assessment of where you’re at and where you need to grow

2) Formulate A Plan By Working Backwards From Overwhelming Evidence

The next step is to create an improvement plan based on the feedback you gathered.

Focus on addressing your weaknesses, which are shown as red and yellow items in your spreadsheet. This color-coded visual makes it easy to spot problem areas, allowing you to target them specifically.

To create your plan, first envision what concrete evidence would show you’re performing at the next level for the criteria you’ve identified. Then, work backward (sometimes called right-to-left planning) from this imagined evidence to identify the specific actions needed to achieve it. This approach helps you focus on tangible outcomes and the steps required to reach them.

For example, if you’re aiming for a Senior Software Engineer position and your spreadsheet looks like the example, you may imagine that leading a major project that significantly improves system performance would prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are operating at the senior level.

Then, work backward to create actions. If you landed this project, you would have, in reverse order:

Start with a high-level right-to-left plan, then break it down further

• Documented and presented the project’s impact on system performance to the team and leadership

• Analyzed and reported on the implementation results

• Successfully deployed the optimization solution

• Managed the team throughout the implementation process

• Developed a detailed implementation plan with the team

• Got approval for the proposed solution from stakeholders

• Designed a comprehensive solution addressing multiple bottlenecks

• Proposed a system-wide optimization project to leadership

• Analyzed current performance data to identify key issues

By starting at the end point, which is overwhelming evidence that you’re operating at the next level, and working backward from there, you can create an actionable plan that directly addresses the areas you need to improve. 

If any step seems unclear, apply the “right-to-left method” to that specific item. For instance, if you’re unsure how to “analyze current performance data,” imagine what would prove you did an excellent job at this task. Perhaps it’s a comprehensive report praised by senior engineers. Then, work backward to determine how to create that report.

To create this report, you would have, in reverse order:

• Compiled findings into a clear, concise report ready to be shared with senior engineers

• Quantified the impact of performance bottlenecks you found

• Identified performance bottlenecks in your system

• Gathered relevant system metrics

As before, you can get started by reversing this “working backward” list.

This approach ensures a focused, actionable plan targeting your key growth areas. By starting with the end goal and reversing the process, you create a roadmap that directly addresses your improvement needs.

3) Execute While Avoiding the Promotion Donut 

As you work through your plan, regularly assess your progress. Are you developing the skills and producing the results you envisioned? If not, adjust your approach as needed.

Remember, the goal isn’t just to complete tasks, but to demonstrate growth and readiness for the next level. Each action should build your expertise and prove your expanding capabilities.

Be sure to seek feedback from colleagues and mentors throughout this process. Their insights can help you refine your approach and ensure you’re on track to achieve your career goals.

By systematically working through your plan, you’re not just hoping for a promotion - you’re actively building the skills and track record that make you an obvious choice for advancement.

Execute your plan with balance in mind. While you’re focused on demonstrating next-level skills, be wary of the promotion donut trap I highlighted in Part One, where you neglect your current responsibilities in pursuit of higher-level work. Your evidence-based plan should complement, not replace, your core duties. The goal is to excel at your current level while showcasing readiness for the next.

Repeat each step until your feedback spreadsheet turns mostly green

With each cycle of the algorithm, you’ll see fewer weak points (red and yellow items) in your assessment, and your improvement targets will become more refined. By maintaining strong performance in your role while strategically demonstrating higher-level capabilities, you create a compelling case for promotion.

Remember, advancement comes from mastering your current position and clearly showing readiness for the next. Keep this balance and systematic focus, and your promotion will be a natural next step, not just an aspiration.

 TL;DR

Accelerate your tech career promotion by avoiding common pitfalls and following my systematic approach, “The Tech Promotion Algorithm”:

1. Identify your gaps using role guidelines and by requesting support from your manager

2. Create a plan by working backward from clear evidence of next-level performance

3. Execute while balancing at-level and next-level responsibilities

Repeat this process, adjusting as needed, and your next promotion is just a matter of time.