How to move from Default-Decision-Maker

 

Early in my career, I thought my job as a leader was to have the answers. And I was good at it. Quick to solve. Always “on it.” Reliable.   But somewhere around managing a larger team, it stopped working. I became the bottleneck. My team stalled out, waiting for my take. And worse, they started second-guessing themselves because they’d learned to defer to me.   That’s when I realized: being the answer-giver made me feel helpful, but it was actually slowing us all down.   The real job of a strategic leader isn’t solving every problem. It’s knowing when to decide and when to hold space so others can.   The problem: You’re creating dependency, not growth   Many high-achieving leaders accidentally create a “decision funnel” that everything has to go through them. It starts with good intentions: speed, accuracy, supporting the team. But over time, it erodes trust, ownership, and strategic thinking.   If you’re the one always solving, your team stops stretching. If you weigh in too early, they stop thinking independently. And if you default to decisions under pressure, you miss chances to coach for long-term growth.

The fix: Create decision space Here’s how to move from default-decision-maker to leader-as-coach without losing control or slowing progress.   Step 1: Resist the urge to solve first When someone brings you a problem, pause. Instead of offering a solution, say: “Before I weigh in, walk me through how you’re thinking about this.”   This small shift creates room for reflection and helps you see their judgment in action. It also signals that your team is expected to think, not just ask.   Step 2: Define boundaries, not the answer You don’t have to give up control to give your team space. Just make the rules of the road clear. Try: “The non-negotiable here is X. Outside that, what’s your recommendation?”   This protects business priorities while giving your team room to own the path forward. They’ll feel trusted and grow faster because of it.   Step 3: Coach through the ambiguity, not around it In high-stakes or unclear situations, don’t default to taking over. Help your team process and problem-solve.   Ask: “What feels most unclear to you right now?” “Is this a ‘one-way door’ or can we revisit if we learn more?”   You’ll help them get unstuck without removing their agency and they’ll start leaning on their own thinking instead of yours. Use the Coaching Script Bank to stay in coach mode   Here are three powerful one-liners to keep you from defaulting to answers: “What are the tradeoffs you're considering here?” “If you had to make the call right now, what would you do and why?” “What's one small step we can take to learn more before deciding?”   Keep these in your back pocket. Use them in 1:1s, team meetings, even Slack threads. You’ll be surprised how often people already have the answer, they just need space to say it out loud.   When should you step in and decide? Not every moment is a coaching opportunity. As a leader, part of your job is to protect the business from unnecessary risk and keep things moving. Step in when: The decision has major, irreversible consequences (“one-way door”) There’s clear urgency or time pressure The team is spinning without progress or missing key context   But make it intentional. Step in to unblock, not to control. And when you do make the call, be clear about why, so your team can learn from your reasoning, not just your answer.   What if your manager is the bottleneck? Sometimes it’s not you that’s stuck in the decision funnel, it’s your manager who keeps pulling everything through their hands. If you want more space to lead, you’ll need to ask for it strategically.   Use the Decision Ladder to spark that conversation:

Ask: “Where do you want me on this ladder for these kinds of decisions?” or “To move faster, what can I fully own, and where should I check in with you?”   Freedom in leadership rarely comes from waiting. It comes from asking well and proving you’re ready.

Your Next Steps This week, notice how often you jump in with an answer. Pick one moment to pause and ask instead: “Before I weigh in, how are you thinking about this?”