Stop shrinking in senior rooms

 

You can be brilliant in your domain… and still shrink the moment you enter a senior room. You know your numbers. You know your strategy. You run your team well.   But put you in a room with the SLT team, the board, maybe the CEO… and something shifts. Your voice softens. You hedge. You wait to be invited in.   Not because you’re not capable. Because the room feels bigger than you.   Silence at this level signals uncertainty.   When you shrink in senior rooms, people don’t think you’re humble. They wonder if you believe in your own strategy. And that kills your presence (and your promotion).   The First Time I Shrunk in a Board Meeting The first time I joined a board meeting, I was intimidated.   I barely spoke. I didn’t ask questions. I didn’t push back. I was a very quiet mouse. I knew I didn’t make the best impression, but I didn’t realize the impact until later.   My CEO had to circle back with the board to answer follow-up questions about our marketing strategy. They weren’t fully convinced. And I believe now it wasn’t because the strategy was weak.   It was because I kept myself small in that room.   My silence was interpreted as a lack of confidence in the plan. And if the person closest to execution doesn’t sound convinced… why should the board be?   That’s when I learned something critical: Shrinking in senior rooms doesn’t protect you. It undermines your presence and your power.   I knew I had to change that, so I worked with a coach.   Not on my slides. Not just my talking points. On my belief.   Specifically: that my voice mattered in that room.   The next board meeting, I showed up differently.   I volunteered to speak. I anticipated objections and addressed them before questions were asked. I prepared deeply, not just on content but on positioning. And I spoke with conviction.   This time, there were no pushbacks. No insecurity about the direction.   In fact, one of the board members circled back afterward and offered to get on a call to get better acquainted.   That’s the difference between shrinking and holding your ground with executives. And you can do it too.   Why Shrinking in Executive Meetings Is a Career Liability I’ve coached enough executives to know shrinking is a common reaction. But I want you to see the real cost isn’t just visibility. When you shrink in senior rooms: You get labeled “strong operator” instead of “strategic leader.” You weaken sponsorship because no one bets on uncertainty. You slow your path to VP without realizing it.   Executives are not just evaluating your ideas. They are evaluating your behavior under pressure.   If you keep shrinking in high-stakes rooms, you will not be trusted with higher stakes. Here’s what you can do to overcome this instinct and stop shrinking yourself:

1. Anchor the Business, Not Your Nerves Most high performers walk into senior meetings thinking: “Do I belong here?”   Executives walk in thinking: “What decision will move us forward?”   The moment you focus on yourself, you contract. The moment you focus on the decision, you expand.   Not to mention, if you are in the room you don’t need to earn the right to be there, you need to justify their choice. They already believe you belong, prove them right.   The Business Anchor Method Before any senior meeting, run your input through this filter: Risk → Business Impact → Recommendation   Not updates. Not activity. Not effort.   Instead of: “We’re making progress, but there are a few challenges.”   Try: “If we don’t address X, we risk delaying revenue by a quarter. My recommendation is we reallocate resources now to protect the launch.”   This is what I did differently in the second board meeting. I didn’t wait to defend the strategy. I pressure-tested it out loud before anyone else could.   That’s ownership.   2. Don’t Wait to Speak, Take Space Before You Are Ready In senior rooms, silence is rarely neutral. It is interpreted as agreement, or lack of perspective.   None of those help you. Especially if you have something to say.   But I know it’s scary to speak. You’re thinking: what if I say something stupid? What if they don’t agree?   Those are possible scenarios, but that’s part of being an executive. Driving a meaningful discussion.   To roughly quote Leila Hormozi: the best executives are those who question your thinking. They shift your perspective or belief and make you reevaluate. It’s not those who agree with you all the time.   The First 3 Rule If you are too worried about being the first to speak, but you want to avoid missing your chances, follow the rule of 3. Be the third person to speak.   It takes of the pressure of being first, you can see where the discussion is going and tailor your pitch. But it’s not too late that the room is convinced and there’s nothing to add.   Being specific about your place in line also forces you to speak early instead of waiting for an opening.   In my second board meeting, I didn’t wait to be asked. I volunteered to speak.   That one decision changed the entire energy.   3. Anticipate Objections Before They Surface One of the biggest differences between shrinking and holding your ground? Preparation.   Shrinking can be a byproduct of uncertainty. When we don’t know how people will react, whether we’ll get support or push back we choose to avoid the conflict altogether. The result? Shrinking.   That’s what I did in the first board meeting. I stayed quiet hoping they won’t ask me tough questions.   The second time, I expected them. And answered them before they were asked.   Instead of hiding I chose to prepare and confront. That’s what executives do.   Practical Shift: Pre-Wire the Tension Before a high-stakes meeting, write down: The three toughest objections you might face. The data or logic that addresses each one. The tradeoffs you’re willing to acknowledge.   Then speak to those proactively.   “Some of you may be wondering about X. Here’s how we’re thinking about it.” When you surface tension calmly, you signal control. That’s executive presence in action.   The Real Identity Shift To Stop Shrinking Here’s what changed for me more than anything: I stopped entering rooms to be evaluated. I started entering rooms to elevate the quality of the decision.   Employees protect themselves. Executives protect the outcome.   If you are still shrinking in senior rooms, it’s not because you’re incapable. It’s because part of you is still trying to survive the room instead of lead it.   And that’s an identity decision, not a skill gap. Choose to make it.

Your Next Steps Pick one of these for your next senior meeting: Use the Business Anchor Method. Apply the First 3 Rule. Pre-Wire the Tension For Your Next Presentation