A few weeks ago, I was listening to an interview with Miss Excel - Kat Norton - the woman who turned dancing with spreadsheets into an eight-figure business. But what stopped me wasn’t the business model or the virality. It was this one line she said almost casually: "I train my nervous system more than I train my business skills." I paused the episode. Because as I've been growing my own business, I've been asking myself the same question everyone asks when they're headed toward a new level: What do I need to learn next? What strategy do I need to master? What skill am I missing? And I had the same thoughts when I was working on becoming a VP. But the deeper I go, the clearer it becomes: The next level usually isn't blocked by your skillset. It's blocked by your capacity. The capacity to stay grounded when everything feels uncertain. The capacity to handle pressure without shutting down. The capacity to make decisions even when your stomach drops. The capacity to take risks when your entire body is telling you to play it safe. In other words… Your nervous system decides what you do long before your brain ever gets a vote. And if you don't train it, it will run the show for you. When Your Nervous System Takes OverLet me take you back to one of the most humbling moments of my career. Years ago, I was leading a high-stakes meeting I had prepared for weeks. Slides rehearsed. Talking points memorized. Every detail under control. I opened strong. Confident. After all I was prepared. Then halfway through… something shifted. My heart started racing. My throat tightened. My vision narrowed. And suddenly my mind went blank. No words. No voice. Just… nothing. For 30 to 40 seconds - which felt like an hour - I stood there frozen while a room of executives waited for me to speak. I had rehearsed every scenario except that one. People asked if I was okay. I nodded, even though I wasn’t. Somehow I pulled myself together and finished the presentation, but the truth is: My nervous system had hijacked me. And it wasn’t the only time. There were meetings where I stayed silent even though I had an idea that could have changed the conversation. There were senior leaders I wanted to connect with… but my body shut down before I could reach out. There were roles I was absolutely qualified for… but fear convinced me not to apply. And afterwards, I’d watch someone else get the job and think, that could have been me. I wasn't being held back by my capability. I was being held back by my biology. Fight. Flight. Freeze. Repeat.Here's the part I was never taught: Your nervous system reacts before you do. Long before your rational brain says, "You've got this," your survival system is scanning for threats - real or imagined - and choosing one of three options: Fight: tension, defensiveness, over-talking, sharp responses Flight: avoidance, overworking, perfectionism, staying busy Freeze: blank mind, shaky voice, silent in meetings Sound familiar? This is why you can be brilliant and still choke in a moment that matters. It's why your voice shakes before tough conversations. Why your mind goes blank when a senior leader asks a question. Why you procrastinate the thing you care about most. Why visibility feels terrifying even though you want more of it. It's not weakness. It's not lack of discipline. It's not "imposter syndrome." It's an untrained nervous system doing its job a little too well. And here's the irony: The more you avoid discomfort, the more the nervous system learns that the discomfort is dangerous. Avoidance reinforces fear. Exposure rewires it. So today, we're going deeper into how you actually build that capacity to prepare yourself for the next level. |
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